Honesty

I am learning that I really value honest people. There's something about being around an honest person that is incredibly refreshing. Honesty can even be liberating. I gravitate toward honest people because these are the friendships that seem to be the most meaningful. I can't stand people who put on a facade. They really irritate me and I can usually see right through them. I heard a story about a really popular speaker who starts conversations with people by sharing his struggles and then waits to see how they react. If they put on a facade or look uncomfortable then he immediately knows this is not a friendship he wants to pursue. This individual has learned the value of authentic relationships and understands they begin with honesty.

Now, I've heard it said that God wants a similar kind of relationship with us so I find it ironic that this kind of honesty is so hard to find in most churches. Church is where we put on our nice clothes Church is where we remind ourselves in the car ride over not to swear or talk about last weekend. Church is where we listen to beautiful people share faith success stories. Church is where we always smile. Church is where we lie better than anywhere else. If I were honest, I'd say that many are leaving the church for virtuous reasons. They're looking for genuine relationships. They're in search of honesty.

I've noticed lately that Jesus is just as frustrated with dishonesty within the church. He would constantly pick fights with religious authorities that were wearing masks and encouraging others to do the same. At the same time, Jesus would defend the most immoral of people. It was almost as if Jesus didn't care what the person had done as long as they were honest about it. Brutally honest, borderline irreverent prayers in the book of Psalms seem to be rewarded. Doubt, resentment, anger, and confusion is never rejected when communicated honestly to the God of the universe. As I've read the Bible more intently I've found it is one of the most honest books I've ever read. Listen to this honest conversation with Jesus for example:

Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (1)

Ahhh, refreshing isn't it. If Jesus didn't reject this man's humble prayer, perhaps God's big enough to handle mine? If healthy relationships are built upon honesty, maybe that's what God's wanted all along? What if this mysterious invisible relationship would start to make sense if I just told Him what I really think?

Breakthrough

Contrary to popular thought, Laura and I are not always cute and affectionate around each other. There were a few months in a row very recently where we were arguing every night. We were trying to hurt each other. We both said plenty of things we would later regret. We took turns walking out of the room with a blanket and pillow and sleeping in the other room. There were lots of tears. Those months were the most difficult ones our relationship has ever faced. And I'm really thankful for them.

See, those months served as a breakthrough for us. It jolted us out of our facade and lies and forced us to deal with some glaring issues in our relationship. Those difficult months drove every last elephant out of the room and made room for romance again. As we all know, every relationship is not all success stories and smiles. It's the brutally honest moments that take any relationship to a deeper place. (2)

So, what do you need to say to God? Where do you need to be brutally honest? What's the elephant in the room? Are you angry at him? Are you confused by something he let happen? Do you doubt he's even there?

Tell him.

Tell him everything and don't hold back. Swear, yell, throw something, or cry. Let it go.

He will still be there.

And he already knows anyway.

He desperately wants a real relationship with you and me and he's willing to go through difficult conversations to get there. He's not looking for perfect people. He's not interested in religious people. He's not impressed with polished people. He is looking for honest people.

1. Mark 9:21-24

2. What if our churches looked more like a dysfunctional relationship instead of a polished show? I wonder if authentic relationships would spring forth? Perhaps, genuine and meaningful faith would be the result? Maybe even a rumor would spread about that church as a place of grace? I wonder if it would refresh people instead of condemn them? I think I would go to that kind of church. Wanna come with me?

Rethinking Evangelism

There's something about evangelism that still bugs me. There seems to be something inherently flawed in it. I mean, there's gotta be a reason why "evangelical" is one of the ugliest words in America today.

I think it's because an evangelical's goal is to convert unbelieving and immoral people. Well, right there you have some obvious problems. No one wants to be viewed as insufficient and certainly not immoral. Evangelical's enter every conversation with a preconceived idea that they are somehow better than another. Now, I know the response would of course be that Evangelicals are not "better" but just saved by grace, blah blah blah. My point is, regardless of what you think, it's not coming across that way. Evangelism comes across as rude, offensive, and judgemental because it makes assumptions about another.

Relationship

Unfortunately, when the evangelical has a relationship with the possible convert it is only a band aid. It's almost as if the convert finds cause to forgive the Evangelist of their approach because of their friendship. Although I believe very strongly in relational ministry I don't think this is getting at the real flaws in evangelism. I think it goes deeper.

Conversion

The American Evangelism idea is that immoral, unbelieving people are converted. As I've studied conversions in the Bible, what I've found has surprised me. A large amounts of conversions that occur in the Bible are not in immoral people. Sure, you got your Matthews (1) that change their lifestyles dramatically but you also have a vast amount of people with strong moral convictions experiencing conversions. People like Paul (2)and the majority of the disciples. Conversion is not just for the immoral.

Furthermore, conversion is not just for the unbeliever. Examples like Ananias and Peter are great examples of conversions in the Bible. Ananias had a conversion experience when he was called by God to minister to Paul. (3) Peter had a conversion experience when God changed his mind about certain foods and the freedom we have in Christ. (4) Biblical conversion is not limited to the unbeliever.

So conversion is for unbeliever and believer, immoral and the moral, seeker and saint. How does this allow us to rethink evangelism?

Leveling The Playing Field

If conversion is for everyone then I must open myself up to being evangelized. What I mean is, as I enter into conversations with others I must allow myself to be changed as much as I expect them to be changed. I must become humble and teachable while knowing this moment might be the one where God wishes to convert me.

Do you see how this thinking can radically change our approach in spiritual conversations? Conversion is not a one-and-done experience. Evangelism is not a headhunter looking for another notch on his belt. When people see our true openness to ideas only then will they feel comfortable with our ideas. Entering spiritual conversations open minded and teachable eliminates the inherent flaw in evangelism. (5) Dialogue becomes open.

Let me end with a brief example of how this has worked in my life. A few months ago I met with a friend for coffee. He happens to be gay and wanted to ask me some tough questions about God. The whole drive there I was praying for him and that I would have the right words to move him into my way of thinking. Two and a half hours later, I was driving home and realized he had converted me. My perspective had been broadened. My heart was softened. God met us there and changed me. I have no idea if my friend experienced a similar kind of conversion but I'm certain he didn't feel evangelized to. I know that trust was created as we had a fair, humble, conversation about God.

May God convert you and I this week.

May we be evangelized.

1. Matthew 9:9-12

2. Acts 9

3. Acts 9:10-16

4. Acts 10:9-23

5. I would argue those evangelist unopen to conversion are overcompensating for their personal spiritual inadequecy. If we're so scared of being influenced by another what does that say about the strength of our faith? Yeah, I'm talking to you, sheltered, Harry Potter, Da Vinci Code book burners. Ridiculous. You're making us all look silly and I wish God would convert you.

If Church Were More Like The Westin







I worked at the Westin Bellevue for six months before starting Icon. I got to bring guest's room service and carry their bags up to their rooms. It was an entry level position but the tips were good so I didn't complain. The hospitality of the Westin is like no where else. They go to every length to ensure their guests are satisfied and comfortable. They also take great effort to train their staff to listen carefully and look for needs to fill.





One day I was helping a woman up to her room with her bags. She was tired and had been flying all day. She vented to me about her early meetings the next day and how the airlines had lost her bag. She had nothing but her carry on baggage. Nothing to wear and away from home.





After settling her into her room I immediately went down stairs and sprung into action. I asked my manager for permission to go to Bellevue Square mall right across the street to purchase a $150.00 gift card. It could buy the woman a new outfit for the next day. My manager thought it was a great idea. We then put the gift card with a nice handwritten note and sent it up to her room accompanied with a bottle of wine and some cheeses.





When I saw the woman the next day she was overwhelmed by our generosity. She showed off the new outfit she had purchased to me. It was so rewarding to see a tired, upset, and unprepared woman transform over night into a refreshed, prepared, and happy guest. (1) I love when tangible needs are met.





The reason why the Westin is notorious for these kind of acts is because of the culture they have created and the empowerment of their staff. This attention to detail and care for others is embedded deep into the hotel's DNA. You can't work there for more than an hour without noticing the priority they place in meeting tangible needs. The Westin mangagment empowers all of their staff and fully support every decision the staff make. Even an entry level like mine became exciting and rewarding because of the difference I was empowered to make.





The Church





What if church looked similar to the Westin? What if this passion to meet tangible needs was a deep, integral, woven priority in church culture? Instead of having a mission department, the entire church was a mission. Imagine what kind of movement could be created when each individual within a church felt empowered and supported to go out and meet needs!(2) Like the Westin, the leadership of the church fully supported the actions, initiative, and ideas of their people and just got out of their way so they could serve.





I wonder if this would change the way we view church? Would it cease to be a religious institution and begin building a reputation of an exciting movement? I wonder how this would effect the churches budget? Would it stop purchasing expensive lighting equipment and redirect funds to the truly needy? Would church look less like a show trying to sell us something and more like a contagious mission we could see ourselves a part of? I wonder how this would effect the growth of the church? Would it stop concentrating on slick marketing or modifying pop songs and begin humbly asking the community for help? What if seats started filling up on Sunday not to pad some Pastor's ego but because of the attractive nature of living for something greater than yourself? (3)





The church could learn a lot from the Westin, believe me. I've barely scratched the surface. Maybe next week, I'll talk about hospitality, or the lack their of, in the church. Should get spicy. Join me for the journey.











1. I found out later the room she purchased from the Westin was on a special discount only costing her $125 / night. Our gift card and other amenities easily surpassed $200 giving this woman one heck of a deal.



2. I got a email the other day from a local pastor asking if I knew any musicians he could borrow for his church on Sunday. You wanna hear the ironic part? His church is about 1,500 strong while our church hits 45 people on a good day. He couldn't find a single musician in 1,500 people! How sad. Is your church empowering people or making consumers?


3. What's the real reason your church is attempting to grow? What's the churches real priority? What's on the front page of its website? What's advertised or highlighted the most? When you boil it down, is it a "come to us, we'll entertain you" message? What was Jesus' message?

There's plenty of things I'm uncertain about.

For instance, why is it snowing right this moment and it's the middle of April?

Here are some other things I do not know:

Will Linc ever sleep through the night?
Does Obama know what he's doing?
Do the writers of Heroes know what they are doing?
Should I be a pastor?
Will I ever appreciate the taste of an IPA?
Will I ever stop being so annoyed with Christians?
How did Easter become a competition between churches to see who could put on the best show?
Will Anderson Silva ever face a decent competitor?
Am I a good enough poker player to make a living out of it?
Am I a good enough communicator to make a living out of it?
How did I brainwash Laura into marrying me?
How do some people still not care about the environment?
Who decided that evangelical Christian = anti-gay and where is the gun to shoot him?

But, there are two things I do know today:

1. This life is most fully lived when it becomes other's focused.

2. I care that God wants to find those who do not know him.

I'm okay with never knowing the answers to the long list above because I'm too busy with the bottom two. The things I do know literally keep me up at night. I don't have room in my brain for much more.

Strength Is Subjective

Strength is very subjective.
Where some see something or someone as strong another may view the same situation or person as weak. For example, the other day, I was carrying the dog food in from the garage to refill our container in the kitchen and Laura whistled and shouted,
"Woo hoo! Look at my strong, sexy man!"(1)
Although I graciously accepted the compliment I also have a pretty firm grip on reality and know that none of my friends would define me as strong. I don't think I've ever been complimented on my muscles by anyone except my wife now that I think about it. I'm not the buffest guy in the world. It's all perspective I guess.

This subjective strength happens in more places than just my kitchen. I was watching "I Love Money"(2) on VH1 the other day and there was this guy who kept bragging about all the women he had slept with. He was seen as the stud of the house. The "strong" one. The one to be admired and honored. It's all subjective I guess.

One of my best friends is married with a bunch of kids. His family and life is happy and full of life but it didn't always use to be that way. Years ago, I held his hand in his apartment as we both cried and prayed for some sort of hope. Everything was on the verge of disaster. Everything had gone wrong. I honestly didn't think his relationship was going to make it. But he didn't quit. He didn't give up. He didn't find some excuse and leave. He kept praying, kept trying, kept working and today his life is one of most beautiful examples of God's grace that I have ever seen. He is one of the strongest men I know.

Strength was subjective 2,000 years ago as well.

I've been studying Jesus' last week on Earth and this subjective strength seems to emerge over and over again. As he sat in the garden of Gethsemane, I read how Jesus prayed so anxiously that drops of blood ran down his face.(3) He was alone, in anguish over the inevitable end, and thinking of quiting. Jesus looks so weak in that moment. I can't really put it any other way. I get nervous just reading that story. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It's like watching an American Idol contestant your cheering for forget their lyrics.

As I've surveyed the other major world religions you don't see their leaders revealing the kind of weakness that Jesus did. Muhammad conquered cities, won battles, and married rich. One of the more prevalent Hindu gods, Shiva, looks kinda frightening. She holds a trident and is known as the destroyer. Where most religions reveal a impressive and powerful strength, Jesus offers a cross.

Perhaps strength is subjective. Maybe Jesus' definition is different from ours. We step on others to get ahead, buy what we can't afford, and brag about our net worth. Jesus quietly asks us to think of others first, serve rather than be served, and give even when it doesn't make sense. A definition of strength flickers in front of us every night when we sit on the couch. Another interpretation is hidden in the greatest story ever told and gently invites us in.

What if strength is not in power, possessions, and pleasure, but in humility, a honorable character, and healthy relationships? What if we've somehow lost site of the Creators idea of strength? What if we risked looking weak in this world and ended up pleasing God? What if, this week, I asked God his opinion about strength? Would that change how I lived, what I bought, and how I thought? Would it alter my arguments, conversations, and competitions?

Strength is indeed subjective and this week I'm going to take God's perspective.




1. It may sound kinda goofy but I sure love when she surprises me. I can't even begin expressing to you how much joy wells up in my heart when she does stuff like that. She makes me feel whole, worthy, and powerful. She makes me feel like a man. Thank you so much Laura for caring about my needs.

2. Don't judge me.

3. Luke 22:44

Okay With Losing.

I've gotten better at losing. Don't get me wrong, it's been a really long road. There was a time when I had to take a break from cards because I'd get so angry when I lost. I think I hurt friendships and lost the point. You should have seen me growing up on the basketball court. I swear, I think we'd spend more time arguing over a foul then we did actually playing.(1) To me, winning the argument was just as important as winning the game. I gave no ground. I debated ruthlessly. I was really good at it.

Ask my wife. I figured out a long time ago, if I really wanted to, I could win any argument. I have the ability to be horribly manipulative. I can twist the situation in just the right way and anticipate opposing view points in such a way that I would leave her speechless. You know how there's some people that always think of something afterwards of what they should have said? Well, I'm not that person. It comes to me in the moment and I can deliver it with the greatest of conviction. I'm not just tooting my own horn here. Ask anyone that's close to me and they'll tell you. I hate to lose, and there have been times when I've won at any cost.

Thankfully, those times are fading away. One nail in my winning coffin came late at night. It was early in our marriage and Laura and I were arguing.

She was tired and I was wide awake.
She was hurt and I was winning.
She was right and I didn't care.

When it was all over, I stood in the doorway of our bedroom relishing my victory. Laura sat on our bed defeated, with her head downcast, and softly crying.

I'll never forget the tears rolling down her face and splashing softly onto the bed.

It was then that things started to really change.

I'm learning you can win an argument and at the same time lose so much.

Evangelical Christian Are Winning

Lately, I've been noticing a growing trend in Christianity that disturbs me. We've turned the message of Jesus into a list of issues. We all choose sides on these issues and that puts us in certain categories. Then we debate on which category is the best. We storm the capitol in order to hold on to our turf. We engage in culture wars so we can defend God's reputation. We charge bravely into debates. We read the Bible to find bits of information that can support our stance. We find churches that want to win as badly as we do. We turn people into problems to be solved. We love with an agenda. We discredit other's beliefs. We turn honest seekers into offended rejects. We threaten with hell. We label and discard. We hide and huddle every Sunday.

And We're Winning...

Glory to God, the battle is ours!

But at what cost?

Will we look back one day and realize all that we've lost?
We won the argument but lost respect.
We did not allow the law to be passed but rejected an entire group of people.
We proved another's beliefs wrong and allowed our belief to look unattractive.
We won! And limited God's grace in the process.

When will Evangelical Christians learn what I learned that one terrible night with Laura?

Our desire to win must never come at the cost of compassion and grace.
Our victory must never substitute the respect and relationship of another.
"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"(1)

Perhaps losing isn't so bad after all.



1. Shout out to Jeff, Ryan, Ben, Billy, Mike, and Todd. Do you guys remember those days? Those summers were the best! American Gladiators, Eggos, and then all day B-ball! Man, I wish I would have learned how to use my left hand.

2. Mark 8:36

Truth In The Alternative

I don't know any way to start this without offending someone so I'm just gonna come out and say it...

Christianity does not hold the trademark on truth.

Although my faith is dear to me, I'm coming to realize that truth can be found in many other places than just the Christianity I subscribe to. For some this may seem like a threatening claim but please let me explain before you label me a heretic. Lately, I've been finding truth all around me and even in some of the most surprising of places.

Last month, I visited a Buddhist center as part of the comparative religions course I was in. It smelled richly of incense and the bell the Buddhist teacher rang seemed to go on forever. We practiced meditation for nearly a half hour and it seemed to quiet my busy brain. I was able to leave behind the past and future and rest completely in the moment. It was there in that present reality that I was reminded of how near and good God truly is.

Last weekend, I wrote my final paper on Islam. I had fifteen books strewn across my kitchen table as I struggled to understand the life and message of Muhammad. I learned of a Muslim's utter submission to God and their profound reverence for his power. It made me long to move away from the far too casual, buddy buddy relationship with God I take advantage of far too often.

My next door neighbors are a gay couple. They are really quite cute together. Keith is the more compassionate and joyful one where Tim has always come across to me as strong and decisive. It's inspiring to see their strengths fill each others weaknesses and their teamwork is impressive. Watching them do the simplest of tasks really brings out the love and respect they have for each other. It's made me look for ways in which my own abilities compliment my wife and to also cherish her strengths.

Like it or not, there is real, powerful, and beautiful truth all around us and as followers of Jesus we need not be threatened by or ignore these truths. Perhaps, we must even recognize and validate these truths.

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me."(1)

Now some take this scripture and turn it into some trump card for winning an argument and proving another wrong. Others use it in a divisive or elitist way which ends up harming the cause of Jesus more than helping. I don't believe this was Jesus' intention.

Jesus is simply pointing out that he doesn't just speak truth. He doesn't just believe in truth. Jesus is truth. He personifies truth. Truth and Jesus are the same thing. If you are honestly searching for truth in this world, then eventually you will stumble upon Jesus.

A Buddhist practiononer will quiet himself long enough to be awed and have no one to thank. A Muslim will grow tired of working for approval from a God he fears and realize his need for grace. A homosexual will love and work along side another until he discovers a longing for the Author of all relationships. All search for truth and if we look hard enough, eventually we will find Jesus.(2)

Or perhaps this is Jesus' way of finding us. He is not confined to just our churches.(3) He is working in places you'd never guess. He is inviting a very surprising list of guests. His grace extends farther than you are comfortable with. There is truth in the alternative and it ends at Jesus.

1. John 14:6

2. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD -Jeremiah 29:13

3. For you theologians out there, this is considered a Christocentric view point. I believe in the Lordship of Jesus and the Bible as authoritative. However, I do not believe the church is the only means of communicating this. To be fair, I'm probably a little more on the liberal side of this view point.

Exceptions to Success and Failure

It's Monday.

I usually take Monday's off since Sunday as a pastor is a big "work" day. However, with school, and a newborn, days off are hard to come by. I sometimes swing over to the casino to play cards on Mondays. There's something about getting away from everything for a few hours and competing with a bunch of strangers that I love. Not to mention, I'm pretty good at poker. It's funny how we are always drawn toward what we find success in and avoid that which we have failed at.

You see this same principle applies in families everyday. A husband and wife can't communicate. They fight and hurtful things are said. This plays out for quite sometime and next thing you know the husband is working 12 hour days. He's excelling at his job at the cost of his family. And why? Because at work he finds success and at home he feels like a failure. (1)

The disciple Peter is a classic example of this principle. In the beginning Peter had been a fisherman until he met Jesus and then everything changed. Peter was with Jesus for 3 years. However, the last few months things seemed to be quickly spiraling downward. Jesus had been arrested and Peter ran for his life. During Jesus' trial some recognized Peter as one of Jesus' friends but Peter denies even being associated with him. He witnessed from a distance his great leader being killed and he did nothing about it. He had failed Jesus in more ways than one.

Now, notice what Peter does next. "I'm going out to fish." (2) Did you see it? In the face of failure after failure Peter reverts back to the one thing he knew. Fishing. He goes back to what he had found success in and abandons the faith he had failed at.

We are drawn to what we find success in and avoid what we have failed at.

No wonder so many give up on faith. We've been taught that faith is some sort of cosmic to-do list that we never quite complete. Polished pastors presenting faith in all its pristine perfection. They give no room for doubt, error, or questions. And sadly, make no room for us.

I was in a conversation with a waitress years ago who ranted to me about her church experience and I'll never forget what she said.

"Church, why would I go there? They are just going to make me feel worse than I already do."

She brings up a good point, doesn't she? If faith is something we continually fail, at then why continue?

Exception to the Rule

We stick to successes and we flee from failure. Seems like a pretty good rule, right?

Well, there's one exception to this rule. Only one beautiful way that this iron clad principle is ever broken. Would you like to hear what it is?

Love.

Plain and simply, it's Love. Only our love for another has enough strength to outweigh our failures. Only the love in a relationship gives the strength to persevere.

A few weeks after Peter had gone back to fishing Jesus decides to pay him a little visit. (3) They have breakfast and then begin walking on the beach alone together. It's there that Jesus asks Peter a very simple question. "Do you love me"

Jesus could have asked Peter anything in the world. He certainly had every right to point out all the ways Peter had failed. Instead, Jesus chooses to focus on the one thing He felt mattered most. Love. See, Jesus knew that as long as Peter loved him that he wouldn't quit, no matter how many times he failed. For Jesus, all the failures in the world didn't matter. All he cared about was if Peter loved him.

So, experience much failure lately? Are you thinking about quitting? Well, I'm not going to deliver you some motivational speech that will get you riled up because we all know those messages fade rather quickly. And I'm not going to pour you a healthy cup of guilt with two shots of to-do list because we all know those just end up making us feel even worse then before. Instead, I'm going to encourage you to move your focus where Jesus seems to place it. On love.

Continue in your faith because Jesus loves you more than you'll ever know.
Quit checking your email and go home to your spouse because she still loves you.

I'll keep dreaming and building and leading for our church because I love my neighbors.

Find a church that focuses on loving God and avoid the pristine propaganda with to-do list theology.

Become the exception to the rule.

Because for God, it's never been about success or failure, but rather who you love.

1. Want some more results of this principle?

Adultery, Pornography, Workaholism, Materialism, Eating disorders

All these and more are examples of those who run from failures toward the one thing they find success in. No matter how destructive that "thing" is.

2. John 21. This is my favorite story in the whole Bible and I wish I had time to share with you all the amazing things that happen like a betrayed God who makes breakfast or the fact that Peter was a leader even while he ran from faith. I guess you'll have to read it for yourself.

3. Still John 21. I had to point out the moment Peter realizes it's Jesus, he jumps out of the boat and swims to shore. Can you imagine what that swim would have been like? Peter just betrayed, denied, and ran out on the God of the universe who is back from the grave with arms crossed on the beach before you. Wow, I don't know about you but I think I would have just swam for China.

God of the Grey

Dancing + College students = sex?
When I went to Northwest University they had a policy that did not allow dancing. Yes, that's correct, they told a bunch of college students that dancing was prohibited because it may lead to sex. Instead, we would hold these really lame "banquets". It all sounds ridiculous to me now. The idea that dancing leads to sex is not only unbiblical but also illogical. I felt like Kevin Bacon at times and other times I would humbly submit. I was torn. That is until I hung out with some friends from my home town. We were all home on spring break telling stories of our new schools. When I mentioned the no dancing rule my friends immediately erupted with laughter.(1) I remember feeling embarrassed. It wasn't because I paid money to go to this school with the ridiculous rules. I was embarrassed because of how stupid my faith looked to my friends. I felt dumb. Man-made religion has a way of doing that.

You'd think we'd learn by now. For thousands of years humans have tried to add all sorts of bells and whistles to Jesus' message and it has never turned out well. Churches have become like slick politicians hiding pieces of legislation in an otherwise well-written bill.(2) This is why so many have left the church and faith. They finally take a step back and state matter-of-factly, "I didn't sign up for this."

Have you ever stopped to notice how much the Bible doesn't talk about? The list is growing everyday.

Dating.
Cigarettes.
The rights of homosexuals.
R-rated movies.
Myspace. (3)
Obama.
Poker.
Mixed martial arts.
Working mothers.
Dancing.

There are many issues in the Bible that are black and white. For instance, I have not doubt the Bible makes it clear that Jesus is God. So, what do we do with these other issues? What do we do with the grey?

Eating mystery food + believer = believer in idol?

When the apostle Paul writes his letter to the Roman church he knows of a certain grey issue they are dealing with. Some are eating food that is sold in the marketplace. Seems harmless enough right? Well, no one knows where this meat came from. It was possible that some of the meat came from an idol sacrifice. So some didn't want to get near it because by doing so they thought they'd be worshiping idols. Now notice what Paul says about the grey...

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit..." (4)

Paul never once makes a ruling on the matter. Although Paul had the authority to, he never draws a line in the sand. He is comfortable with the tension. He lets both sides have their opinion and reminds them of what is truly important. He allows the grey and by doing so reveals a quiet confidence in a God that is bigger and better than it all.

God+man=righteousness, peace, and joy!

So I say let them have their opinions. Let the youth group proclaim dating is wrong. Let the protesters picket the capitol. Let Northwest hold their banquets. Meanwhile, lets walk humbly with our God. Lets allow God to be bigger and better. Lets reveal a quiet confidence that is comfortable with the tension. Lets display a righteousness, peace, and joy that is attractive and compelling to the those looking on. Lets proclaim the freedom only Jesus can give. Lets allow God to be in charge of our grey.

While some are drawing lines in the sand lets go play in the waves.

1. That's Kent for you. I'm so thankful for friends that have kept my feet firmly planted on the earth.

2. Like the recent bill passed about online gambling. That was some shady business. Tribal casino lobbyist slipping something under the radar. Highly sketch.

3. A few years back I was on a panel discussing the good and bad of myspace. I was surprised by how many church goers showed up to the meeting. The overall feeling was one of fear. Christians scared of the unknown. Should our faith be reactionary? Should we really be running around scared trying to defend our depleting turf? Is this the kind of life Jesus described?

4. Romans 14:17. It's interesting which side Paul refers to as the "weak".

Another Glimpse of Grace

I have been studying grace a lot the last few weeks. It has significantly changed me. It's softened me. I'm finding myself less inclined to impress God. I've risked being myself and am humbled by who that is. Anyway, I thought I'd share some more stuff I've been learning.

Forgiveness is painful.
Anyone understands that when faced with a betrayal or a hurtful comment and figuring out how to somehow let that go. You see this pain demonstrated best when Jesus was in the garden before being arrested. (1) It's tough to let things go because it just hurts so bad. I would suggest the alternative is even worse.

I recently got burned by someone I thought was a friend. (2) I never saw it coming. It completely blindsided me and has left me spinning for a few weeks now. I've went through a variety of emotions. For awhile I was angry, then confused, and now I'm saddened. I've relived all of the event over and over in my head and the same cycle of emotions just continue. It's amazing how often we can go over betrayals and hurtful moments in our heads. I feel tortured by the transgression. You want to hear the craziest part of it all? I'm positive my "friend" hasn't thought of it once.

Unforgiveness is one sided.
We hold grudges, resentment, and bitterness toward another and the whole time that person is completely unaware. They've moved on. It's not even a blip on their radar. Unforgiveness is a prison for one. We are enslaved to reliving the event and stuck in a cycle of emotions. It holds us captive while the guilty party runs free. If we stay in that prison long enough it will harden our hearts so greatly that we poison those around us.

Unforgiveness kills those around us.
Parts of my family are extremely dysfunctional. My Grandmother currently won't talk to my wife and I because we didn't pay enough attention to her 5 years ago at our 400 person wedding reception. We've tried countless times to reach out to her by sending cards, flowers, and apology letters but none of it has worked. Every time my mom visits her she retells the hurt we caused her.

My Grandmothers other daughter, Valerie, has got to be the most negative person I've ever met. When we were young, my sister and I would sit in the back of her car for hours and play a game. We'd compete to see who would be the first person to make Aunt Valerie say something positive. We'd talk about the weather or family or her hobbies and we would go hours with her without hearing a single positive comment. She would almost always revert to telling us some story about her crappy ex-husband or how her work has been mistreating her.

Aunt Valerie's only son, Billy is a sarcastically funny guy. We used to have a lot of fun together. But he slowly spiralled downward in that environment. He bounced from one job to another for years and now he is currently in prison for distributing child pornography. (3) My Grandmother imprisoned her daughter her literally imprisoned her son. Unforgiveness can kill us and those around us. See, if we don't let it go it will imprison us and those close to us.

Letting it go.
As I've been dealing with unforgiveness I ran across something that really helped.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written:

"It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. (4)

See, I can let it go because I believe God is in control. God knows what's best for my "friend" better than I do. God will do what's right. God has got it handled. I'm learning that forgiveness happens when I trust God. Forgiveness is an act of faith. I can escape this prison because God sees everything and He will be just. I don't have to keep this poison in my heart any longer. My God is in control.

So I can't pretend to understand the pain you've been through. I can't comprehend how you've been hurt. I can only tell you that prison life is lonely. It is cruel and unending. I've decided to leave. I forgive my friend. I'm letting it go. For the sake of my family and those close to me. Because of a God that will do what's right. Life is much better out here in the sun.

Care to join me?

1. Matthew 26. You also see the pain of forgiveness before Joseph forgives his brothers and "he wept.., loudly" (Genesis 45:1-2)

2. I'm learning this sort of thing comes with the territory of being a pastor. The trick will be to not become numb or cynical. How can we continue put ourselves out there knowing we will eventually be hurt again? Well, that's a whole other blog. :)

3. You wanna hear the most ironic part of the whole thing? My grandmother talks to my cousin in prison (she thinks he's on the road doing stand up comedy). She has embraced the child pornographer but has rejected the pastor. At least I can laugh about it though, right?

4. Romans 12:19