Exceptions to Success and Failure

It's Monday.

I usually take Monday's off since Sunday as a pastor is a big "work" day. However, with school, and a newborn, days off are hard to come by. I sometimes swing over to the casino to play cards on Mondays. There's something about getting away from everything for a few hours and competing with a bunch of strangers that I love. Not to mention, I'm pretty good at poker. It's funny how we are always drawn toward what we find success in and avoid that which we have failed at.

You see this same principle applies in families everyday. A husband and wife can't communicate. They fight and hurtful things are said. This plays out for quite sometime and next thing you know the husband is working 12 hour days. He's excelling at his job at the cost of his family. And why? Because at work he finds success and at home he feels like a failure. (1)

The disciple Peter is a classic example of this principle. In the beginning Peter had been a fisherman until he met Jesus and then everything changed. Peter was with Jesus for 3 years. However, the last few months things seemed to be quickly spiraling downward. Jesus had been arrested and Peter ran for his life. During Jesus' trial some recognized Peter as one of Jesus' friends but Peter denies even being associated with him. He witnessed from a distance his great leader being killed and he did nothing about it. He had failed Jesus in more ways than one.

Now, notice what Peter does next. "I'm going out to fish." (2) Did you see it? In the face of failure after failure Peter reverts back to the one thing he knew. Fishing. He goes back to what he had found success in and abandons the faith he had failed at.

We are drawn to what we find success in and avoid what we have failed at.

No wonder so many give up on faith. We've been taught that faith is some sort of cosmic to-do list that we never quite complete. Polished pastors presenting faith in all its pristine perfection. They give no room for doubt, error, or questions. And sadly, make no room for us.

I was in a conversation with a waitress years ago who ranted to me about her church experience and I'll never forget what she said.

"Church, why would I go there? They are just going to make me feel worse than I already do."

She brings up a good point, doesn't she? If faith is something we continually fail, at then why continue?

Exception to the Rule

We stick to successes and we flee from failure. Seems like a pretty good rule, right?

Well, there's one exception to this rule. Only one beautiful way that this iron clad principle is ever broken. Would you like to hear what it is?

Love.

Plain and simply, it's Love. Only our love for another has enough strength to outweigh our failures. Only the love in a relationship gives the strength to persevere.

A few weeks after Peter had gone back to fishing Jesus decides to pay him a little visit. (3) They have breakfast and then begin walking on the beach alone together. It's there that Jesus asks Peter a very simple question. "Do you love me"

Jesus could have asked Peter anything in the world. He certainly had every right to point out all the ways Peter had failed. Instead, Jesus chooses to focus on the one thing He felt mattered most. Love. See, Jesus knew that as long as Peter loved him that he wouldn't quit, no matter how many times he failed. For Jesus, all the failures in the world didn't matter. All he cared about was if Peter loved him.

So, experience much failure lately? Are you thinking about quitting? Well, I'm not going to deliver you some motivational speech that will get you riled up because we all know those messages fade rather quickly. And I'm not going to pour you a healthy cup of guilt with two shots of to-do list because we all know those just end up making us feel even worse then before. Instead, I'm going to encourage you to move your focus where Jesus seems to place it. On love.

Continue in your faith because Jesus loves you more than you'll ever know.
Quit checking your email and go home to your spouse because she still loves you.

I'll keep dreaming and building and leading for our church because I love my neighbors.

Find a church that focuses on loving God and avoid the pristine propaganda with to-do list theology.

Become the exception to the rule.

Because for God, it's never been about success or failure, but rather who you love.

1. Want some more results of this principle?

Adultery, Pornography, Workaholism, Materialism, Eating disorders

All these and more are examples of those who run from failures toward the one thing they find success in. No matter how destructive that "thing" is.

2. John 21. This is my favorite story in the whole Bible and I wish I had time to share with you all the amazing things that happen like a betrayed God who makes breakfast or the fact that Peter was a leader even while he ran from faith. I guess you'll have to read it for yourself.

3. Still John 21. I had to point out the moment Peter realizes it's Jesus, he jumps out of the boat and swims to shore. Can you imagine what that swim would have been like? Peter just betrayed, denied, and ran out on the God of the universe who is back from the grave with arms crossed on the beach before you. Wow, I don't know about you but I think I would have just swam for China.