Strength Is Subjective

Strength is very subjective.
Where some see something or someone as strong another may view the same situation or person as weak. For example, the other day, I was carrying the dog food in from the garage to refill our container in the kitchen and Laura whistled and shouted,
"Woo hoo! Look at my strong, sexy man!"(1)
Although I graciously accepted the compliment I also have a pretty firm grip on reality and know that none of my friends would define me as strong. I don't think I've ever been complimented on my muscles by anyone except my wife now that I think about it. I'm not the buffest guy in the world. It's all perspective I guess.

This subjective strength happens in more places than just my kitchen. I was watching "I Love Money"(2) on VH1 the other day and there was this guy who kept bragging about all the women he had slept with. He was seen as the stud of the house. The "strong" one. The one to be admired and honored. It's all subjective I guess.

One of my best friends is married with a bunch of kids. His family and life is happy and full of life but it didn't always use to be that way. Years ago, I held his hand in his apartment as we both cried and prayed for some sort of hope. Everything was on the verge of disaster. Everything had gone wrong. I honestly didn't think his relationship was going to make it. But he didn't quit. He didn't give up. He didn't find some excuse and leave. He kept praying, kept trying, kept working and today his life is one of most beautiful examples of God's grace that I have ever seen. He is one of the strongest men I know.

Strength was subjective 2,000 years ago as well.

I've been studying Jesus' last week on Earth and this subjective strength seems to emerge over and over again. As he sat in the garden of Gethsemane, I read how Jesus prayed so anxiously that drops of blood ran down his face.(3) He was alone, in anguish over the inevitable end, and thinking of quiting. Jesus looks so weak in that moment. I can't really put it any other way. I get nervous just reading that story. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It's like watching an American Idol contestant your cheering for forget their lyrics.

As I've surveyed the other major world religions you don't see their leaders revealing the kind of weakness that Jesus did. Muhammad conquered cities, won battles, and married rich. One of the more prevalent Hindu gods, Shiva, looks kinda frightening. She holds a trident and is known as the destroyer. Where most religions reveal a impressive and powerful strength, Jesus offers a cross.

Perhaps strength is subjective. Maybe Jesus' definition is different from ours. We step on others to get ahead, buy what we can't afford, and brag about our net worth. Jesus quietly asks us to think of others first, serve rather than be served, and give even when it doesn't make sense. A definition of strength flickers in front of us every night when we sit on the couch. Another interpretation is hidden in the greatest story ever told and gently invites us in.

What if strength is not in power, possessions, and pleasure, but in humility, a honorable character, and healthy relationships? What if we've somehow lost site of the Creators idea of strength? What if we risked looking weak in this world and ended up pleasing God? What if, this week, I asked God his opinion about strength? Would that change how I lived, what I bought, and how I thought? Would it alter my arguments, conversations, and competitions?

Strength is indeed subjective and this week I'm going to take God's perspective.




1. It may sound kinda goofy but I sure love when she surprises me. I can't even begin expressing to you how much joy wells up in my heart when she does stuff like that. She makes me feel whole, worthy, and powerful. She makes me feel like a man. Thank you so much Laura for caring about my needs.

2. Don't judge me.

3. Luke 22:44

Okay With Losing.

I've gotten better at losing. Don't get me wrong, it's been a really long road. There was a time when I had to take a break from cards because I'd get so angry when I lost. I think I hurt friendships and lost the point. You should have seen me growing up on the basketball court. I swear, I think we'd spend more time arguing over a foul then we did actually playing.(1) To me, winning the argument was just as important as winning the game. I gave no ground. I debated ruthlessly. I was really good at it.

Ask my wife. I figured out a long time ago, if I really wanted to, I could win any argument. I have the ability to be horribly manipulative. I can twist the situation in just the right way and anticipate opposing view points in such a way that I would leave her speechless. You know how there's some people that always think of something afterwards of what they should have said? Well, I'm not that person. It comes to me in the moment and I can deliver it with the greatest of conviction. I'm not just tooting my own horn here. Ask anyone that's close to me and they'll tell you. I hate to lose, and there have been times when I've won at any cost.

Thankfully, those times are fading away. One nail in my winning coffin came late at night. It was early in our marriage and Laura and I were arguing.

She was tired and I was wide awake.
She was hurt and I was winning.
She was right and I didn't care.

When it was all over, I stood in the doorway of our bedroom relishing my victory. Laura sat on our bed defeated, with her head downcast, and softly crying.

I'll never forget the tears rolling down her face and splashing softly onto the bed.

It was then that things started to really change.

I'm learning you can win an argument and at the same time lose so much.

Evangelical Christian Are Winning

Lately, I've been noticing a growing trend in Christianity that disturbs me. We've turned the message of Jesus into a list of issues. We all choose sides on these issues and that puts us in certain categories. Then we debate on which category is the best. We storm the capitol in order to hold on to our turf. We engage in culture wars so we can defend God's reputation. We charge bravely into debates. We read the Bible to find bits of information that can support our stance. We find churches that want to win as badly as we do. We turn people into problems to be solved. We love with an agenda. We discredit other's beliefs. We turn honest seekers into offended rejects. We threaten with hell. We label and discard. We hide and huddle every Sunday.

And We're Winning...

Glory to God, the battle is ours!

But at what cost?

Will we look back one day and realize all that we've lost?
We won the argument but lost respect.
We did not allow the law to be passed but rejected an entire group of people.
We proved another's beliefs wrong and allowed our belief to look unattractive.
We won! And limited God's grace in the process.

When will Evangelical Christians learn what I learned that one terrible night with Laura?

Our desire to win must never come at the cost of compassion and grace.
Our victory must never substitute the respect and relationship of another.
"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"(1)

Perhaps losing isn't so bad after all.



1. Shout out to Jeff, Ryan, Ben, Billy, Mike, and Todd. Do you guys remember those days? Those summers were the best! American Gladiators, Eggos, and then all day B-ball! Man, I wish I would have learned how to use my left hand.

2. Mark 8:36

Truth In The Alternative

I don't know any way to start this without offending someone so I'm just gonna come out and say it...

Christianity does not hold the trademark on truth.

Although my faith is dear to me, I'm coming to realize that truth can be found in many other places than just the Christianity I subscribe to. For some this may seem like a threatening claim but please let me explain before you label me a heretic. Lately, I've been finding truth all around me and even in some of the most surprising of places.

Last month, I visited a Buddhist center as part of the comparative religions course I was in. It smelled richly of incense and the bell the Buddhist teacher rang seemed to go on forever. We practiced meditation for nearly a half hour and it seemed to quiet my busy brain. I was able to leave behind the past and future and rest completely in the moment. It was there in that present reality that I was reminded of how near and good God truly is.

Last weekend, I wrote my final paper on Islam. I had fifteen books strewn across my kitchen table as I struggled to understand the life and message of Muhammad. I learned of a Muslim's utter submission to God and their profound reverence for his power. It made me long to move away from the far too casual, buddy buddy relationship with God I take advantage of far too often.

My next door neighbors are a gay couple. They are really quite cute together. Keith is the more compassionate and joyful one where Tim has always come across to me as strong and decisive. It's inspiring to see their strengths fill each others weaknesses and their teamwork is impressive. Watching them do the simplest of tasks really brings out the love and respect they have for each other. It's made me look for ways in which my own abilities compliment my wife and to also cherish her strengths.

Like it or not, there is real, powerful, and beautiful truth all around us and as followers of Jesus we need not be threatened by or ignore these truths. Perhaps, we must even recognize and validate these truths.

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me."(1)

Now some take this scripture and turn it into some trump card for winning an argument and proving another wrong. Others use it in a divisive or elitist way which ends up harming the cause of Jesus more than helping. I don't believe this was Jesus' intention.

Jesus is simply pointing out that he doesn't just speak truth. He doesn't just believe in truth. Jesus is truth. He personifies truth. Truth and Jesus are the same thing. If you are honestly searching for truth in this world, then eventually you will stumble upon Jesus.

A Buddhist practiononer will quiet himself long enough to be awed and have no one to thank. A Muslim will grow tired of working for approval from a God he fears and realize his need for grace. A homosexual will love and work along side another until he discovers a longing for the Author of all relationships. All search for truth and if we look hard enough, eventually we will find Jesus.(2)

Or perhaps this is Jesus' way of finding us. He is not confined to just our churches.(3) He is working in places you'd never guess. He is inviting a very surprising list of guests. His grace extends farther than you are comfortable with. There is truth in the alternative and it ends at Jesus.

1. John 14:6

2. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD -Jeremiah 29:13

3. For you theologians out there, this is considered a Christocentric view point. I believe in the Lordship of Jesus and the Bible as authoritative. However, I do not believe the church is the only means of communicating this. To be fair, I'm probably a little more on the liberal side of this view point.