Exceptions to Success and Failure

It's Monday.

I usually take Monday's off since Sunday as a pastor is a big "work" day. However, with school, and a newborn, days off are hard to come by. I sometimes swing over to the casino to play cards on Mondays. There's something about getting away from everything for a few hours and competing with a bunch of strangers that I love. Not to mention, I'm pretty good at poker. It's funny how we are always drawn toward what we find success in and avoid that which we have failed at.

You see this same principle applies in families everyday. A husband and wife can't communicate. They fight and hurtful things are said. This plays out for quite sometime and next thing you know the husband is working 12 hour days. He's excelling at his job at the cost of his family. And why? Because at work he finds success and at home he feels like a failure. (1)

The disciple Peter is a classic example of this principle. In the beginning Peter had been a fisherman until he met Jesus and then everything changed. Peter was with Jesus for 3 years. However, the last few months things seemed to be quickly spiraling downward. Jesus had been arrested and Peter ran for his life. During Jesus' trial some recognized Peter as one of Jesus' friends but Peter denies even being associated with him. He witnessed from a distance his great leader being killed and he did nothing about it. He had failed Jesus in more ways than one.

Now, notice what Peter does next. "I'm going out to fish." (2) Did you see it? In the face of failure after failure Peter reverts back to the one thing he knew. Fishing. He goes back to what he had found success in and abandons the faith he had failed at.

We are drawn to what we find success in and avoid what we have failed at.

No wonder so many give up on faith. We've been taught that faith is some sort of cosmic to-do list that we never quite complete. Polished pastors presenting faith in all its pristine perfection. They give no room for doubt, error, or questions. And sadly, make no room for us.

I was in a conversation with a waitress years ago who ranted to me about her church experience and I'll never forget what she said.

"Church, why would I go there? They are just going to make me feel worse than I already do."

She brings up a good point, doesn't she? If faith is something we continually fail, at then why continue?

Exception to the Rule

We stick to successes and we flee from failure. Seems like a pretty good rule, right?

Well, there's one exception to this rule. Only one beautiful way that this iron clad principle is ever broken. Would you like to hear what it is?

Love.

Plain and simply, it's Love. Only our love for another has enough strength to outweigh our failures. Only the love in a relationship gives the strength to persevere.

A few weeks after Peter had gone back to fishing Jesus decides to pay him a little visit. (3) They have breakfast and then begin walking on the beach alone together. It's there that Jesus asks Peter a very simple question. "Do you love me"

Jesus could have asked Peter anything in the world. He certainly had every right to point out all the ways Peter had failed. Instead, Jesus chooses to focus on the one thing He felt mattered most. Love. See, Jesus knew that as long as Peter loved him that he wouldn't quit, no matter how many times he failed. For Jesus, all the failures in the world didn't matter. All he cared about was if Peter loved him.

So, experience much failure lately? Are you thinking about quitting? Well, I'm not going to deliver you some motivational speech that will get you riled up because we all know those messages fade rather quickly. And I'm not going to pour you a healthy cup of guilt with two shots of to-do list because we all know those just end up making us feel even worse then before. Instead, I'm going to encourage you to move your focus where Jesus seems to place it. On love.

Continue in your faith because Jesus loves you more than you'll ever know.
Quit checking your email and go home to your spouse because she still loves you.

I'll keep dreaming and building and leading for our church because I love my neighbors.

Find a church that focuses on loving God and avoid the pristine propaganda with to-do list theology.

Become the exception to the rule.

Because for God, it's never been about success or failure, but rather who you love.

1. Want some more results of this principle?

Adultery, Pornography, Workaholism, Materialism, Eating disorders

All these and more are examples of those who run from failures toward the one thing they find success in. No matter how destructive that "thing" is.

2. John 21. This is my favorite story in the whole Bible and I wish I had time to share with you all the amazing things that happen like a betrayed God who makes breakfast or the fact that Peter was a leader even while he ran from faith. I guess you'll have to read it for yourself.

3. Still John 21. I had to point out the moment Peter realizes it's Jesus, he jumps out of the boat and swims to shore. Can you imagine what that swim would have been like? Peter just betrayed, denied, and ran out on the God of the universe who is back from the grave with arms crossed on the beach before you. Wow, I don't know about you but I think I would have just swam for China.

God of the Grey

Dancing + College students = sex?
When I went to Northwest University they had a policy that did not allow dancing. Yes, that's correct, they told a bunch of college students that dancing was prohibited because it may lead to sex. Instead, we would hold these really lame "banquets". It all sounds ridiculous to me now. The idea that dancing leads to sex is not only unbiblical but also illogical. I felt like Kevin Bacon at times and other times I would humbly submit. I was torn. That is until I hung out with some friends from my home town. We were all home on spring break telling stories of our new schools. When I mentioned the no dancing rule my friends immediately erupted with laughter.(1) I remember feeling embarrassed. It wasn't because I paid money to go to this school with the ridiculous rules. I was embarrassed because of how stupid my faith looked to my friends. I felt dumb. Man-made religion has a way of doing that.

You'd think we'd learn by now. For thousands of years humans have tried to add all sorts of bells and whistles to Jesus' message and it has never turned out well. Churches have become like slick politicians hiding pieces of legislation in an otherwise well-written bill.(2) This is why so many have left the church and faith. They finally take a step back and state matter-of-factly, "I didn't sign up for this."

Have you ever stopped to notice how much the Bible doesn't talk about? The list is growing everyday.

Dating.
Cigarettes.
The rights of homosexuals.
R-rated movies.
Myspace. (3)
Obama.
Poker.
Mixed martial arts.
Working mothers.
Dancing.

There are many issues in the Bible that are black and white. For instance, I have not doubt the Bible makes it clear that Jesus is God. So, what do we do with these other issues? What do we do with the grey?

Eating mystery food + believer = believer in idol?

When the apostle Paul writes his letter to the Roman church he knows of a certain grey issue they are dealing with. Some are eating food that is sold in the marketplace. Seems harmless enough right? Well, no one knows where this meat came from. It was possible that some of the meat came from an idol sacrifice. So some didn't want to get near it because by doing so they thought they'd be worshiping idols. Now notice what Paul says about the grey...

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit..." (4)

Paul never once makes a ruling on the matter. Although Paul had the authority to, he never draws a line in the sand. He is comfortable with the tension. He lets both sides have their opinion and reminds them of what is truly important. He allows the grey and by doing so reveals a quiet confidence in a God that is bigger and better than it all.

God+man=righteousness, peace, and joy!

So I say let them have their opinions. Let the youth group proclaim dating is wrong. Let the protesters picket the capitol. Let Northwest hold their banquets. Meanwhile, lets walk humbly with our God. Lets allow God to be bigger and better. Lets reveal a quiet confidence that is comfortable with the tension. Lets display a righteousness, peace, and joy that is attractive and compelling to the those looking on. Lets proclaim the freedom only Jesus can give. Lets allow God to be in charge of our grey.

While some are drawing lines in the sand lets go play in the waves.

1. That's Kent for you. I'm so thankful for friends that have kept my feet firmly planted on the earth.

2. Like the recent bill passed about online gambling. That was some shady business. Tribal casino lobbyist slipping something under the radar. Highly sketch.

3. A few years back I was on a panel discussing the good and bad of myspace. I was surprised by how many church goers showed up to the meeting. The overall feeling was one of fear. Christians scared of the unknown. Should our faith be reactionary? Should we really be running around scared trying to defend our depleting turf? Is this the kind of life Jesus described?

4. Romans 14:17. It's interesting which side Paul refers to as the "weak".